This Web site contains frank, Biblical information about Christian marriage.
Please page down.
For Christian Married Persons
(and those who have set a wedding date)
"Bible Sex Facts"
Being in the ministry for over 23 years, also being married for that long and visiting hundreds of Churches and Clubs world-wide, we have been able to identify a need for sex education in the Christian context.
No matter how we try and avoid the subject, it still remains one of the most relevant subjects in society. Christian newly-weds and married couples are frustrated and are often not sure what is allowed and what not. The devil on the other hand, has a good time putting couples on guilt trips, causing a lot of confusion and "educating" us in a variety of ways. Through the media and Society we are bombarded with messages about sex that are contrary to the instruction of the Bible. This confusion and guilt often results in serious marriage problems.
We trust it will be of assistance to you.
Blessings
Pastors Leon and Meleney Kriel
l. How should I treat attractive members of the opposite sex?
Like brothers and sisters. There is no doubt that you may find some people to be more physically attractive than others, The Apostle Paul had a very practical solution to this problem. In his first letter to the young pastor, Timothy, he said in l Tim. 5:2 (NIV): 'Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity"
Paul's use of the phrase "with absolute purity" is proof that he was talking about sexual attraction and not social graces. This means, men, that when you see what you judge to be an attractive woman about your age, treat her just as you would your sister. Be courteous, respectful, and even complimentary, just as you would be with your sister. But suppress all sexual feelings, just as you would around your sister. Ladies, treat attractive men in your presence as you would your brother. This Standard of purity should apply to comments you make to your opposite-sex friends, fellow workers, and associates, as well. Don't make any remark you wouldn't make to your sister or brother. This Standard will help guard against unfounded accusations of sexual harassment. Of course, if you are not married, it will be perfectly natural to see members of the opposite sex as something other than brothers or sisters.
* When hugging the opposite sex, which is so common in Christian circles, do not touch in the neck, chest, lower back, buttocks or legs. Remember body language is a very strong form of communication and makes out more of the message you are sending than the spoken words and besides: it reveals what is your heart. Minimum contact is to be made with the opposite sex. If hugging as a way of saying "Hello" is common in your church or club, do the Side Hug not the Full Frontal Hug. Standing next to the person you are hugging, hug with one arm. Simple but practical and you will find it also protects you from unwanted messages from the person you are hugging. Ladies and men alike know that awkward feeling when you are being hugged by a person who is coming on way too strong. It is bad taste and bad manners to press yourself against someone in a hug. And equally unpleasant when a person presses him/herself against you.
2. Are there acceptable alternatives to sexual intercourse?
Yes. There are times in a marriage when sexual intercourse is not practical or possible and an alternative is both acceptable and desirable. Here are some examples of those times:
1. During menstruation when intercourse is distasteful or painful.
2. Near the end of pregnancy. (Ask your doctor about sexual intercourse throughout the third trimester.)
3. When the husband is unable to achieve or maintain an erection.
4. When the wife has a vaginal infection or other temporary medical problem.
5. When either the husband or wife is not interested in sexual intercourse at the moment but recognises the spouse's need for sexual release through orgasm.
Here are two alternatives to vaginal sexual intercourse:
A. Manual Stimulation. The husband stimulates the wife's clitoris and vulva and the wife strokes the husband's penis. This may be done alternately or simultaneously until both reach orgasm. Either the wife or the husband may use a lubricant. Check with your pharmacist before using a lubricant in the genital area.
B. Between-the-thighs intercourse, sometimes called "outercourse". The wife lies flat on her back with her ankles crossed and thighs pressed together. The husband lubricates his penis generously and thrusts it between the wife's thighs until he reaches orgasm. The wife is unable to reach orgasm unless the penis remains in contact with her clitoris during thrusting.
Anal intercourse is not recommended as an alternative for vaginal intercourse. (See the section on anal intercourse.)
* There are also other ways for a couple to express their affection in times when it is not advisable to have intercourse. For short periods, caressing, a good foot massage or a walk in the park could express love to a woman and going with him to a rally or his favourite biker hangout can show a man that he is sexy and fun to be around - even when sex is not possible.
* Obviously long term medical problems should be seen to. That might seem clear to most of us, but is a problem for some people - both men and women. It is amazing how many women (specially Christians) do not want to go for check-ups or treatment that would involve internal examinations. Sure it is not pleasant, but procrastination or avoidance is irresponsible toward one's body and often leads to worse problems. Same thing goes for the men. It does not fit the image of a "tough Biker" to run to the doctor - specially with impotence or other sexual health problems. But you owe it to your partner to take care of your sexual health and these problems can be treated!
What about anal sex; is it sinful?
The vagina becomes moist and open during foreplay, permitting easy insertion of the penis; the anus does not. The vagina is lined with a membrane, which is designed to sustain the friction of penile thrusting; the anus is not. In fact, some experts believe the AIDS virus was released into the human race through lesions worn in the anal wall while homosexual men were having anal intercourse.
Be honest - a few years ago most people never even thought anal intercourse should be mentioned! Today you see articles about it in the magazines at your dentist's waiting room! It is insinuated and referred to and even propagated as "really sexy". Fact remains - simply physiologically - the rectum was not made for sex and will suffer violence in the long run. Should you want to try it "Be carefull"! We however suggest a couple avoid penertration.
4. Is there anything wrong with birth control?
No, not as far as the Bible is concerned. Some people who are opposed to birth control do quote Gen. 38:9 which talks about Onan "Spilling his seed on the ground" when he was told to have sexual intercourse with Tamar, his dead brother's wife. His method was either withdrawal or masturbation. For reasons, which are unclear, Onan did not want to follow the custom of his day and father children in the name of his dead brother. This disobedience displeased God, who killed
Onan. This type of incident is not reported elsewhere in the Bible. Therefore, a sole reference like this is not a valid reason to oppose birth control on moral grounds. Another reference which is used in Opposition to birth control is Gen. l :28, where God commands Adam and Eve to be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth.
The human race has obeyed this command to the extent that overpopulation is now a concern for many. Another point of Opposition to birth control is the general notion that sexual intercourse for the sake of pleasure instead of reproduction is wrong. This concept is in direct Opposition to Paul's teaching in l Cor. 7 where the issue is clearly sexual satisfaction and not reproduction. Paul says, "It is better to marry than to burn (with passion)", not "It is better to marry than to allow the earth to go unpopulated." Paul wrote these words when the earth was occupied by far fewer people than today. Although some Church groups are theologically opposed to birth control, this position is not based on any known scripture.
5. How important is communication in the bedroom?
Extremely! All experts on marriage stress the importance of communication between husband and wife. Home finance, raising children, and furnishing a house, all call for free and open exchange of ideas within the marriage. But communication in relationship to sexual matters is so important that full compatibility may be impossible without it!
A good marital sex life is based on trial and error and a certain amount of experimentation. Although any number of authors are willing and able to tell you what works well for other people, no authority on earth can tell you what works for you and your spouse. You two are the only authority on this topic.
Effective communication on sexual matters involves two primary ingredients: honesty and frankness. Never fake an orgasm, or any other sexual response. If a stroke, caress, or thrust is irritating or even painful — say so. If the speed of an action is too slow or too fast, make that known, also. And, most important of all , when a particular activity is especially stimulating and satisfying, communicate that fact as well.
Include all topics in your conversations on sex, such as: first thing in the morning or last thing at night; light on or light off; covered or uncovered; partly clothed or totally nude. Except in cases of pain or severe irritation, the best time to discuss your sexual preferences may be after and not during actual sexual intercourse. You should have such a free sense of communication with your spouse on sexual matters that you can talk frankly at times other than while you are engaged in intimate activities. The question "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" has been devalued by it's casual use in TV and movie scripts, and in the popular press. However, it is still an important question and should be asked. If the answer is "no", find out why not
Above all else, covenant to be totally unselfish. The satisfaction of giving pleasure to your spouse can be very gratifying in itself. When both husband and wife strive to remain unselfish, there will be enough give and take on matters of preference to provide balance in your sex life and full satisfaction for both of you. Some experiments regarding technique or position may end in mutual dissatisfaction. No matter. You have your lives ahead of you. Try another way next time. Maybe you've been married several years and have never developed an open channel of communication regarding your sexual activities. Although "you" may be fully satisfied, you must still ask the "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" question of your spouse.
It's never too late to learn new things, and you're never too old to change. Failure to discover sexual problems and take corrective action may doom your spouse to a sex life which is partly or totally unsatisfying. Even worse, failure to communicate in this important area may destroy your marriage.
6. Is it all right for married couples to go to dances?
Not unless you plan to dance with no one but your spouse. Dancing with your spouse is good for one's marriage. Slow dancing often calls for the torsos of the partners in be close contact. For many persons with normal levels of sexual response, dancing of this kind will become a type of foreplay and must be limited to persons who are married to each other. This rule applies to all single persons as well. It is common practice at social dances for men to ask women other than their wives to dance. The music mix often involves a combination of slow (body contact) and fast dances. Therefore, it should be avoided.
7. How important is foreplay in marriage?
It plays a critical role. Foreplay, or petting, is using hands, lips, mouth, or tongue to help cause such sexual excitement that the next logical step is sexual intercourse, which continues to the point of orgasm. Since foreplay naturally leads to sexual intercourse, it must be restricted to married persons. A healthy husband often gets a full erection and is ready for sexual intercourse while watching his wife get undressed. As a rule, a wife needs more foreplay than this. Partners need to be creative during foreplay to avoid boredom in the bedroom. Just because oral sex works, don’t do it every time try something else to keep foreplay unpredictable and full of suspense. Husbands, here is a cardinal rule for you regarding foreplay: never insert your penis into your wife's vagina until she asks you to do so. Continue to kiss, stroke, caress, and fondle her until she not only permits penile insertion, she demands it! Wives, here is the corollary of your husband's rule: never let your husband insert his penis until you are so sexually aroused you can’t stand to wait another second for intercourse to begin. When you both follow these simple rules, your sex life will be more likely to be mutually satisfying. Of course there is an exception to every rule and there is one for the penis insertion rule as well.
There may be times when the wife is temporarily incapable of sexual arousal to the point of demanding sexual intercourse. Fatigue, stress, or a minor illness may cause this. At such a time, the wife may allow her husband to insert his penis while knowing full well that no amount of foreplay before insertion, or thrusting after insertion, will bring her to orgasm. When this Situation is the exception and the wife offers this privilege in loving consideration for her husband's need of sexual release, there is no problem. You may have heard of a husband raping his wife. The clinical definition of marital rape is the husband inserting his penis without his wife's permission. This can only happen when communication is absent in a marriage which lacks mutual love, respect, and free-flowing communication about sexual matters.
What about Submission in the sexual arena
* Obviously when marital rape comes into question there is the factor of violence that is considered. Force, humiliation, threats and beating or mental abuse would play a role as in any rape. We feel very strongly that no woman is her husband's (or anyone's) victim merely based on her sex. A lot of harm has been done to the Christian witness by people who interpret the Bible as portraying the woman as a kind of second-class citizen. Nothing can be further from the truth and simply because the bible instructs a woman to submit to her husband - does not make him a higher form of human. Submission in the context of the Bible is an agreement from the wife that she will take her place in her rank and let the husband take his rank. Nothing more. The man has a responsibility toward his family and specially his wife, to lead. His personality and instinct if you will, is perfect for this job. Think about it - a man is usually predictable and even-tempered. Less prone to mood swings and emotional reactions. These are vital for wise decision making and leadership.
* A woman is a wonderfully complex creature - her being a woman and having a cycle means hormonally induced mood swings. This is what makes a woman such a fantastically fascinating and exiting partner. No two days are the same with her! Today she is happy and contented, tomorrow exstatic and the day after that dark and moody. Then we have what we call PMS or better known as Mad Cow Disease! Those infamous days before her period when the blood in her veins are two parts wolf and one part cow! (Don't worry Meleney is writing this part - Leon wouldn't dare!!) A woman's body needs these hormonal fluctuations - that is as part of being a woman as having breasts and a sense for style! Only problem is - if the family's future and decision-making-leadership was dependent on her - they would be moving to Disneyland on Monday and into a cave on Friday. This is what makes submission work. The apostle Paul said the women should rule their households. That is a lot of authority and let's face it the ladies are simply better home makers. The home, the kids and the marraige, the family relationships - that is what needs a female touch. It gives a woman a feeling of identity. A man is summed up in his job. What he does is who he is. It is a marvelous recipe for success when a strong, confident man leads with love, wisdom and consideration. Stability is the reward. And the wife fills in the blanks. She gives colour to the picture and is allowed to apply her strenghts what ever they may be - without the husband feeling threatened. This means that there are no typical rolls like - wife in the kitchen and husband mowing the lawn, when he cooks better and she mows better!
* In the sexual area the Bible says something different about submission - namely the wife's body belongs to the man and the man's body to the woman. They should not abstain from each other for extended periods and only upon mutual agreement! So the law of submission in the bedroom is totally different than in the rest of the house (unless of course they are making love somewhere else in the house!) The husband and wife are equal partners and she has as much authority over him as he over her. This is very important for fullfilling sex. Sex for a husband can get so boring when the wife always plays the submissive roll and never excert herself. It is typical victim mentality that says "Sex is something that is done to me". Sex is not something that must be endured - it must be enjoyed! It is amazing how some Christian women use a false religiosity as an escape from actively participating in exciting and fullfilling sex.
8. Doesn't the Bible consider oral sex to be a perversion?
The Bible doesn't mention oral sex. When the Bible speaks of sexual perversion, as in Rom. l :26-27, it means homosexual activity. Since homosexual men and women use oral sex as a primary sexual activity, some evangelicals consider it to be perverted. The only sin related to sex in marriage is selfishness. This is just another case where it is more blessed to give than to receive. If your spouse enjoys oral sex as a means of foreplay as much as you do, it is not sinful and can be very exciting for both of you. However, if your spouse is not excited or is even repelled by giving or receiving oral sex, you should find other foreplay activities, which are mutually exciting. To do otherwise would be to commit the sin of selfishness.
Fellatio is the formal word for oral sex involving the penis. This is when the wife kisses, licks, and sucks the head and shaft of the penis. Continued activity of this type will cause the husband to ejaculate. Husbands know in advance if your wife will be excited or repelled by ejaculation into her mouth.
Cunnuingus is the formal word for oral sex involving the vulva. This is when the husband kisses, licks, and sucks the clitoris and labia. He may also thrust his tongue into the vagina. Continued activity of this type is very likely to cause the wife to have an orgasm. The spasms of such an orgasm may be strong enough to cause a little urine to be expelled.
9. What does die Bible say about orgasm?
Nothing however, the Apostle Paul does say a few important things about sexual gratification generally, and orgasm surely is implied. Here are some clear texts with brief comments :
" Then come together... so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control " l Cor. 7:2-5. This is the classic definition of Christian marriage. There are several lessons to be learned here:
Verse 3. "The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. Both the husband and wife have an Obligation to provide sexual gratification for each other. There should be no double Standard. The wife has as much right to sexual gratification through orgasm as does the husband.
Verse 4. "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." This is a strong message of sexual equality in marriage. Paul identifies the husband as the head of the house and asked first-century women to be quiet in Church. However, in the bedroom, there are equal rights and responsibilities.
The wife is responsible for telling her husband what gives her the most pleasure. She is also responsible for telling her husband at what point in the foreplay she is ready for sexual intercourse to begin. This point may be as she senses an orgasm coming as the result of foreplay, or it may be after one or more foreplay-induced orgasms. A young husband may have difficulty delaying his orgasm during the thrusting of sexual intercourse while waiting for his wife to reach orgasm. Since thrusting may be difficult if not impossible for the husband after his orgasm, the wife may need to allow foreplay to take her closer to her first orgasm or even wait until after her first foreplay orgasm before asking her husband to insert his penis.
The husband is responsible for following his wife's lead regarding the pace of the sexual activity without giving up his right to full gratification. The husband must always remember to delay inserting his penis until his wife asks him to do so. If he is unable to delay orgasm for that long because of foreplay, he may need to stop receiving foreplay and Stimulation from his wife while continuing to provide Stimulation for her, until she asks for insertion.
Verse 5. "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." The clear message here is that sexual intercourse should bring release of desire through orgasm. Even a temporary dental of orgasmic rights can make us more susceptible to the temptations of Satan and his demons.
"It is better to marry than to burn." l Cor. 7:9. The Greek word used here for burn is puroumai, meaning, "to be on fire". Although Paul is talking to me Church at Corinth about being married versus remaining single, there is no doubt that gratification through sexual intercourse to the point of orgasm is inferred.
Watch the double Standard here, also. No one would expect a husband to be denied the sexual release, which comes through intercourse to the point of orgasmic ejaculation. Anything less would not extinguish his fire of desire and might inflame it. Therefore, it must be assumed that the wife has the same right to orgasm. Although a woman's orgasm may not be necessary for the propagation of the race, it is necessary to cool her fires of desire , also. When a wife does not receive full orgasm within her marriage by her husband, she stands a greater chance of being tempted by Satan and his demons to seek sexual gratification outside her marriage with another man or even a woman.
"Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure..." Heb. 13:4. Although the Bible has many restrictions regarding sexual behaviour outside the bonds and bounds of legal marriage, sexual intercourse within marriage itself is completely wholesome and blessed of God . The word "bed" is used here as a symbol of sexual intercourse. An amplified version of this passage could be, "although fornication and adultery are both wrong, there is nothing wrong with sexual activity (foreplay and sexual intercourse to the point of orgasm) within marriage."
Experts on sexual response recognise that the wife can have an orgasm from Stimulation of the clitoris during foreplay, thrusting of the penis within the vagina during sexual intercourse, or both. Some wives may need clitoral Stimulation to orgasm before thrusting begins, and others may need clitoral Stimulation during thrusting, either by assuring the penis is rubbing the clitoris or by asking the husband to stimulate the clitoris manually during thrusting.
Always remember that the husband and the wife have equal scriptural rights to orgasmic satisfaction during sexual intercourse.
10. When a married couple is engaged in foreplay, when should the husband insert his penis?
When the wife asks her husband for insertion. There is a dual responsibility here if sexual intercourse is to result in full orgasmic satisfaction for both husband and wife.
Before sexual activity begins, both husband and wife should exchange information about the type of foreplay, which is most satisfying and leads to the highest levels of sexual Stimulation.
B. The wife should remember it is as wrong to lie with the whole body as it is with the mouth. Wives don't act like you are stimulated if you are not. Make quiet verbal or physical suggestions on how you would like your husband to conduct foreplay.
C. The husband must remain alert to his wife's verbal and physical responses regarding the appropriate moment for inserting the penis.
D. The wife must not ask for insertion until she doesn't want to wait another moment. Many husbands need less foreplay than their wives to be ready for sexual intercourse. Therefore, it may be wise for the wife to hold off stimulating the husband during foreplay until she is closer to being ready for insertion.
After sexual intercourse, the husband and wife should have a free and frank discussion about what was especially satisfying about the experience. As the years pass, a husband and wife who engage in such post-intercourse debriefings will be able to enjoy a high percentage of fully satisfying sexual experiences.
11. Never fake an orgasm.
We're already talked about the importance of full and complete communication m marriage. If the wife is unable to come to orgasm during foreplay or intercourse, this fact should become the topic of an honest discussion The first issue of discussion should be to determine if this is an incident or part of a pattern. An occasional failure to reach orgasm may be normal for you as a married couple. Medication, fatigue, distractions, or minor illness may play a part in such a failure at one time or another. Forget it and move on to tomorrow. However, if failure to reach orgasm is part of a regular pattern, you may want to determine the cause. Of course , determining the cause will easily be possible if you have already established a pattern of communicating freely about sexual matters. Some marriage experts claim that orgasm is optional for the wife. If she never achieves orgasm with the husband, no big deal, they say. However, when we read what Paul has to say about gratification as outlined in Part 9 above, we see orgasm in a new light. Not only is it the right of the wife in a Christian marriage, orgasm has a role in defensive Spiritual warfare, also. There is a two-fold danger in faking an orgasm, aside from the fact that the wife should no more lie with her pelvis man with her tongue:
A. Faking orgasms may result in the couple never resolving the problems in their sexual interactions, which are preventing the wife from achieving orgasm.
Faking orgasms may place the wife at significant risk of succumbing to the temptations of Satan and his demons to engage in illicit sexual activity. Neither husbands nor wives should fake orgasms.
12. Is it all right for a married couple to use pornography during foreplay?
No. There is no moral difference between a single person using pornography while
masturbating and a married couple using it during foreplay. In both situations, the
sexually-explicit pictures are causing lustful feelings directed to the models in the pictures and
not to the spouse. Sexual desire for a person who is not your spouse is lust. Jesus said in Matt.
5:28 that such lust is the equivalent of adultery. There are two other major reasons pornography should not be used, even in marital foreplay.
A. Pornography is habit forming. There may be a temptation for one spouse to use the materials for private masturbation during sexual fantasies. Aside from evil lust which is caused. This situation causes, the normal desire for sexual intercourse to decrease, robbing the other spouse of rightful sexual satisfaction.
B. Pornography models are usually young and very attractive. The spouse may not compare favourably with such competition and should not be submitted to such an unrealistic comparison.
13. What about privacy with children in the house?
Parents should take normal precautions to prevent being disturbed by their children during foreplay and sexual intercourse. If a child should surprise parents during sex, avoid overreacting and never discipline the child unless the intrusion was deliberate and malicious. Sexual activities should be kept private. This includes not only the actions themselves but unnecessary discussions of these actions with other persons. Spouses should never discuss their sex lives with anyone unless help is being sought for a problem. In such a case, the source of the help should be a minister or a qualified counsellor with traditional conservative Evangelical values. Never consult a counsellor who has a liberal or unknown value System regarding sex. The proposed solution may be worse than the presenting problem. The counsellor should not be single or divorced but be in a stable marriage for several years.
14. What words can we use during sexual activity?
Any words you choose. The concept of dirty words does not exist between a legally married husband and wife. These sexual terms used between a husband and wife should not go beyond the boundaries of the bedroom.
15. Sexual Activity During Pregnancy.
Everything I’ve said in this chapter about sexual gratification and the Biblical equal rights of husbands and wives applies during the period of a pregnancy, with this common-sense warning: Nothing must be done to harm the foetus. Talk to your doctor about sexual activity during the third trimester (last three months) of the pregnancy. Chances are, he/she will say it's OK to have sex, but check to be sure
16. Let's talk first about the psychological aspects of sex during pregnancy.
Husbands: your wife may have feelings of being somewhat unattractive, and may claim she
has the dimensions of a blimp or a whale. While you may experience your usual need for
sexual release, your wife may have a greater than usual need to be told she is loved, wanted,
important, and cherished.
Wives: your husband still loves you in spite of your size and shape. In fact, when he
remembers your temporary size and shape are because of that precious life both of you caused to come into existence at the point of conception, he may proclaim he adores you even more. Smile, and say, "Thank you very much."
17. Sexual positions
Sexual positions during intercourse vary and depends on how tall or short, thin or rounded the partners might be. Experimenting is advised to find positions, which benefit both partners. Remember any position that hurts or discomforts the other is considered as a bad position.
18. Positions for intercourse during pregnancy.
If the husband is fairly large and the pregnancy is well advanced, try a position, which avoids placing a great amount of pressure on the foetus. The following position will allow for maximum thrusting and Stimulation of the clitoris by the penis or husband's fingers while placing minimum pressure on the foetus:
The wife lies flat on her back with her thighs spread and one knee bent. We'll call the wife's leg with the knee not bent Leg A and the wife's leg with the bent knee Leg B.
The husband lies at a 45-90 degree angle to his wife's body and between her legs. Most of his weight will be on the bed and about a third of his weight will be on Leg A. Leg B is draped over his waist. With this position, manual Stimulation of the vulva and clitoris is possible during thrusting if the wife desires it. This position may become a favourite long after the baby is born.
19. Manual Stimulation of the clitoris and penis
Of course, Stimulation of the clitoris and penis to the point of orgasm is fine any time in a marriage when the husband and wife desire it. However, manual Stimulation to the point of orgasm is especially useful immediately before and after delivery, when the thrusting during intercourse may be inappropriate.
20. The first night
Couples have always had very high expectations for the first night, leaving many disappointed and disillusioned. I suggest a couple rather stretches the first night into the first week and tries to accomplished their sexual dream experience over a longer period of time. On the first night ,do not go sparingly on the KY jelly or lubricants. Even if it is not the wife's first time she is bound to be tight and penetration will be painful. Remember the goal for the first night should not be to have perfect sex (you will have the rest of your lives to do that) it is for both to have an amazing climax! This will take all the pressure off the couple.
Things to remember for the first night:
1. A damp cloth or something to clean up afterwards. Sex can get very messy, and there is nothing worse trying to sleep on a bed with damp semen or lubrication spots on.
2. Place whatever contraceptives you will be using on the bedside table and not under the pillow, it has a way of disappearing during the course of foreplay ,only to be found by the chamber maid the following morning.
3. Remove all jewellery before starting with foreplay, injuries can occur.
4. Switch off all phones, put a do not disturb on the door, put TV remotes in the draw and make sure there will be no interference.
The following method is not a golden rule, simply a tip for the first night:
Undress each other as slow as is possible ( This will be a challenge!)
1. Do not go straight to the genitals but caress back, neck, shoulders and legs. This will highten the sexual tension in both partners.
2. The wife must avoid applying too much friction to the penis during foreplay as the husband has not learnt how to control an ejaculation yet.
3. Should the husband plan to bring his partner to climax with oral sex, do not apply and lubrication before hand.
4. It is crucial for the husband to be a gentleman during sex and always ensure that the wife reaches a climax first.
5. Once the husband has started stimulating the clitorus DO NOT STOP! Take the wife all the way to the top.
6.Once the wife has reached a climax , give her a minute to recooperate before attempting to penertrate her.
7.Allow the wife to place the penis in the vagina. Should this be to painful the first night, let the wife stimulate the penis with lubrication or with her mouth.
8.The husband must move in and out slowly ,and not thrust the first time. Should more lubrication be nessesary apply bountifully.
Take time to enjoy the afterglow.
9.The first night may not be perfect, but it will definately be an amazing night to remember.
21. Sex toys
There is nothing wrong using sex toys to spice up the sexual experience. When buying sex toys or stimulants be sure that they are sterile. Sterilize the toys if unsure. We do not suggest a couple use cheap sexual stimulants eg. spanish fly or anything bought from open markets.
Tips for couples
The following is a few tips to make your next erotic massage very special. Remember the goal of an erotic massage is to give and receive pleasure and not just for foreplay.
Tip one: Light touch.
Try touching very lightly and very slowly all parts of your lover.
Touch so you are just touching the fine hairs of the body and not the even touching the skin. Long strokes from head to the feet can feel great.
Sometimes your lover can react to such light touch. I ask them to breath and open into the touch and see if this can make the touch more blissful. Sometimes your lover will not want to receive such light touch and the next day they love it.
Tip two: Feathers
Purchase a peacock feather or a similar feather and use this to slowly touch your lover all over. One can use one feather in each hand.
Yummy. Try using the feather between the toes and fingers.
Smaller feathers can be purchased at shops that sell material.
Tip Three: Fur
Fake fur or real rabbit fur can be very pleasurable an all areas of the body. The face is one sensitive area to focus on.
Women love their breasts touched with fur. Men love the softness of fur touching the penis too.
Tip Four: Breathe
Use your breath to slowly blow from the toes to the head. One can use a focused breath similar to whistling that is cold and ahh type of breath that is warmer. See what your lover likes. Try your breath on the penis, vulva and also the anus.
Not many have tried anal blowing and it is very nice! Use your hands to separate the bum cheeks.
Tip Five for women: Use your Breasts.
If you are a women, men love been touched all over with your breasts and nipples. Try massaging the soles of his feet with your nipples. Try slowly massaging your man from the feet up the legs and across the penis with your breasts.
Tip Six: Slow down
Most men massage too hard and fast. Really slow down your touch and open up your feeling inside to see if you can feel your partners energy in your body. Instead of trying to turn on your lover, go into your body and be present in your touch. Accept whatever your partner is experiencing without trying to change anything.
It is important to have no goal of intercourse but just to give and receive pleasure.
Tip Seven. Take turns.
Make sure you change giving and receiving. Most of us like either to give or to receive. Generally men like to give and be in control and find it harder to receive and let go. If you do what is harder or more challenging, you grow in your ability to love or to receive lover.
You start to grow as a fully mature sexual being.
Erotic massage for women
A. Prepare the Space
Make sure the room is warm and warmly lit. Ingredients: A massage
table, massage oil, lubricant, items
which stimulate the senses (feathers, bells, rattles, essential
oils), latex gloves, towels, a vibrator (perhaps covered with a condom, if necessary). Let the woman receiving massage choose the music. The woman receiving should feel free to have all the orgasms she
wishes but the focus of this massage is not on having orgasms.
B. Coming Into the Body
Give this woman a half hour to an hour of full body massage before
you begin the genital massage. Have her lie on her stomach and massage the back side of her body using stretches, vibrations, glides, circles and kneading. Brush her skin with your finger tips. Use oil or corn
starch. Massage her scalp. Pinch her fingertips and toes. Rock her whole body. Invite her to take deep
breaths with sounds on the exhale.
Repeat this massage on her front side.
Deer Exercise. Contour your hands around her breasts. Circle
breasts outwards. Massage her nipples. Ask her what pressure feels good.
C. Waking Up the Neighborhood
The Heart /Pussy Palm Rest. Rest one hand over her heart, the
other over her vulva. Then massage slowly the channel in between. 3 breaths together.
Vibrate that Vulva. Place your whole hand over her vulva and
vibrate. Vibrate her heart center with your other hand.
Breath caresses from the pubs to the heart.
Tug On Pubic Hair (to wake up sensation). Not too hard!
Over Eggs Easy. Rub palms together in spirals to generate heat and Lay your palms over her ovary area. This generates much ching chi (sexual energy).
The Womb Warmer. Spiral palms over her uterus area.
Knocking On The G-Spot's (Heaven's) Back Door. Press and dig fingers into the belly/bladder just above the pubic bone. You can probe really deeply unless the woman is in her bleeding time. Let her feedback guide you.
Pussy Petting. Lubricate your hands or sensually drip lube directly
onto her yoni. Pet with long slow
strokes, bottom to top and top to bottom.
Pressure points round clock. Start at 12 am above the vulva. Press and hold for 10 seconds or longer. Now go to 1 o'clock at the outer fleshy part surrounding the vulva. Continue around the clock.
Outer Labia Lip Massage/Inner Labia Lip Massage. Pinch the lips
between your thumb and fingertips and lovingly massage. Eventually you can tug, stretching the labia.
(Lip sizes will vary widely. )
Alternate up and down on outer lips
Open her Blossom and Blow. Peel open the labia and blow gently
into her royal pinkness.
Tour de France. Orbit your forefinger around between her inner and outer labia from perineum to above clitoris.
The Triple Digit Pussy Pet. Use the three longest fingers with
the middle finger gliding along outside of the vaginal opening, the other two fingers running along the place where the thigh meets the labia.
Womb Drumming. Tap and slap her whole body, especially the inner
thighs, heart center (chest) and vulva with your fingers, as if playing a drum.
E. Clitoral Massage
A Gentle Touch and Tickle. Tickle the clit extremely lightly.
Door bell lift finger totally off the clit.
Pinch and pull the clitoris. Gently!
Rock Around The Clit Clock. With your forefinger make tiny circles around the clit, stopping at every one of twelve "hours". Many woman are very sensitive at two o'clock.
As She Likes It. Ask her how she like her clitoris massaged, then
do it. Be sure to incorporate massaging other areas of her body whenever possible, spreading the energy down her thighs and legs and up her body to her face and her scalp.
F. Vaginal Massage
The Temple Gate Tease. Ask her if she'd like you to enter her
temple gates (her vagina). Be aware that some women do not want to be penetrated at all. Use lube, lube and more lube. With one finger tickle the vaginal opening as lightly as possible. Make her hungry.
Entering the Temple Gates. Keep one hand on her abdomen or heart.
Insert your forefinger ever so slowly.
Hold still, no movement. Just be there. Then slowly glide in and
out. Add index finger if desired.
The Four Directions. With two fingers press firmly
up/side/down/side, eight times each direction.
The Crescent Moon. Insert thumb in vagina, curl palm around onto
clit, fingertips are on top of pubic bone.
Alternate stimulation between the three areas; the internal g-spot,
the clitoris and the external g-
spot/bladder.
Massage entire urethral sponge. With one or two fingers circle
both directions.
Find her G-Spot, which is the most sensitive spot on her urethral
sponge. Communicate.(Sizes vary from shirt button size to coat button size.)
The Doorbell. Press very firmly on her g-spot like ringing a
doorbell. Press. Then release. Then press. Repeat.
Goddess Spot Massage. Apply steady pressure and make circular
motions in both directions. Then add clitoral stimulation with the thumb of the other hand. Then
alternate between g-spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation, 10 seconds for each pleasure zone. You can even invite her to add kegels. The feeling is fantastic!
The Cervix. Some women love to have their cervix pushed against.
This can be done using the tips of your fingers like a doorbell.
The deep spot. Massage above the cervix for some women is yummy.
Twist and Shout. Using one or more fingers, massage in and out of
the vagina while twisting at the wrist.
The Healing Thrust. Some women might want a good, hard, deep, vigorous in and out penetration.
Encourage her to stay relaxed.
G. Ending the Massage
Be Here Now. With your hand inside of her yoni, slow down to no
movement. Just be there.
Leaving The Temple. Withdraw your fingers as slowly as possible.
Allow your partner to savor the afterglow for as long as she
wishes. When she starts to come out of the afterglow trance, invite her to take ten deep breaths together with you. Then towel oil from her body.
Allow the towel movements to be part of the massage.
Speak from the heart if desired. Maintain silence if desired.
"With this massage you can satisfy a woman to her core...every
time!" --Annie Sprinkle
________________________________________________________________________________
THE MASSAGE FOR MEN
After you have connected with your partner through stretching and conscious breathing, give him a long, nurturing, warm oil massage of the back, legs and arms.
Allow your awareness to be in your hands. Let him know by the quality of your touch that there is nowhere else you would rather be, that there is no one else you would rather
be with.
1/ CARESS AND VIBRATE
This form of Taoist Erotic Massage is focused on the genitals and the front of the torso.
Begin by gently resting your hands on your partner's heart center (between the
nipples) and genital area. Take three comfortable breaths together.
Remember this massage is about charging the body with erotic, life force energy. Charging the body with erotic energy is a taboo in our culture that normally uses sex like it uses alcohol to celebrate and to sedate.
Let your fingertips caress the whole front of the body. By the quality of your touch, let your partner know that you are massaging every level of his being.
Try to keep one hand vibrating and massaging genital area as your other hand dances and plays from the feet to the head. Massage circles on the belly and chest.
Rock and roll the arms and legs. I often squeeze the tips of each finger and tow, the beginnings and endings of the meridians, the pathways of energy.
Wake up the genital area with light tugging of the pubic hair, vibrating of the pubic bone and fondling of the balls
2. ANOINTING WITH OIL
In many cultures of the world dating back thousands of years, anointing with oil was a special ritual of honoring. With every stroke, let your partner know he is special
among all your relations. Start by oiling the genital area and the corridor up to the heart.
Then oil the whole front of the body. Rather than squirting oil directly onto your partner, put the oil on your hands and then on to his body.
Since the tissues of the magic wand are very sensitive, too much oil there is better than too little oil. Use more oil where there is more hair. Be sure to oil the perineum.
Experiment with oils. I like coconut oil because it is light, unscented, and it washes out of sheets, towels and clothes with hot water. Many vegetable oils stain sheets and
clothes.
During the whole massage, try to keep at least one hand on the genital area at all times, continuously generating ching chi.
Make sure the man receiving has his eyes closed for the massage. And make sure that you are guiding him in his breathing.
3. Magic wand
Shiatsu is a Japanese word meaning "finger pressure." With your thumb and first finger squeeze up and down the magic want, both front and back and sides. This rhythmic stroke begins to wake up the inner tissues of the magic wand.
4. ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK
Once this massage begins, most men are willing to receive all day and all night. So I call this stroke Rock Around the Clock. The magic wand pointing toward the belly
button is 12 o'clock. Alternate your hands sensuously and slowly rubbing the magic wand around the clock. Make sure you are massaging both the magic wand and the body parts below it.
5. SIX O'CLOCK GOOD NEWS
At 5, 6, and 7 o'clock, wrap your whole hand around the magic want. Take some extra time at 6 o'clock. This is a favorite position of many men, especially if they are soft
or semi-soft.
Men receiving, remember that the goal of this massage is not erection or ejaculation, but full body aliveness orgasm nourishing every level of being. Most men find a two-thirds erection to be the most beneficial state in which to receive a Taoist Erotic Massage. Erections, like the tides, ebb and flow. This is the natural rhythm of erotic charge.
A major technique of this massage is to pull the skin of the magic wand toward the base, especially if your partner is uncircumcised. This provides a pleasurable variation to
most strokes.
Try Rock Around the Clock with the skin of the magic wand pulled toward the body.
6. THE GATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS
Give special attention to the place just below the head on the underside of the magic wand, and area that contains an intense concentration of nerve endings. This is the place of visions, the third eye of the magic wand in cock reflexology. Pull this skin taut with
one hand and massage with thumb circles. You can also pinch this skin between your thumb and index finger and rub and tug.
7. OSHO'S DELIGHT
Cross-country skiing with your thumbs making alternating strokes up and down on the Gates of Consciousness, I call Osho's Delights, in honor of one of my teachers. Osho said that three hours in the full body orgasmic state can heal dysfunctional sexual patterns
forever. He also said that western men are all premature ejaculators they come before they make a connection with themselves or with a partner.
8. RAINBOW RUB
Cap the head of the magic wand with your whole hand, your fingers on the top side, your palm on the tip, the heel of your palm on the gates of consciousness. Squeeze while
rubbing the heel of your palm up and down on the Gates of Consciousness. Some men see colors with this stroke.
9. HEALING
With the magic wand resting on the belly, the heel of your hand closest to the feet glides up and down the underside with your fingers toward the feet. This area is the spine
in cock reflexology. Pay special attention to the Gates of Consciousness area. This stroke
generates a tremendous amount of erotic energy and frees up the other hand to massage other parts of the body.
10. THE BIG U
Your hand closest to his feet does the Healing Stroke, while your other hand glides from one knee up through the belly and down to the other knee. Return and repeat. Use
more pressure on the tops of the thighs, and lighten up on the abdomen.
Variations: Let your hand glide from the knee to the heart area to the other knee and back while you continue the Healing Stroke. Let the hand closest to the head do the
Healing Stroke while the other hand massages from the inner thigh through the perineum to the other inner thigh. Repeat.
Man receiving: Invite the energy in hour hips to flow to every part of your body.
Invite this sacred energy to weave you together into wholeness.
11. TWIST AND SHOUT
You twist, he shouts... with ecstasy. Again pull the skin taut toward the base with one hand and corkscrew your hand up and down the shaft. Cover as much skin as possible.
12. TWIST AND SHOUT / SIX O'CLOCK GOOD NEWS
Twist and Shout with the magic wand pointed towards the feet. This stroke is especially pleasurable when the man is soft or semi-soft. Slow is better than fast when
your partner is soft. Be sure to use plenty of oil.
13. BELLY CIRCLES
The hand closest to the feet does the Healing Stroke. The other hand does full palm circles on the abdomen. Massage clockwise if the man receiving has eaten recently.
Vary the speed and pressure. Massaging counterclockwise stirs up powerful male erotic energy. Make sure both your hands are massaging with the same rhythm.
14. HEART CIRCLES
One hand does the Healing Stroke; the other massages the heart center. The Taoist name for the point directly between the nipples is the Sea of Tranquility. You are
massaging the places of love. Massage as if they were the same place.
15. NIPPLE CIRCLES
Men's nipples can be awakened as places of exquisite pleasure. I recommend massaging lightly with fingernails, then massaging with palm circles.
16. BERLIN
A major goal of Taoist Erotic Massage is the healing of the heart-genital connection. When sacred erotic energy is allowed to build up in the hips, it connects to
the heart. Sometimes the energy travels up the back of the body, over the head and down the front of the body to the heart. Other times it takes the short route through the belly to the heart.
Berlin is a sweeping stroke using the forearm on the torso from the upper chest to
the pubic bone. Wipe away all walls between the heart and the genitals. I named this stroke in Berlin in October 1990, as Germany was reunited. Celebrate the heart-genital connection. Sweep away the walls with Berlin. The other hand does the Healing Stoke.
17. BELLY BLISS
With Belly Bliss, pleasure the abdomen as you pleasure the Gates of Consciousness. As one hand pulls the skin of the magic want taut, place the heel of your other hand on the Gates, fingers toward the heart, and rub.
Let your fingers caress the
belly. Often you can get an orbit of energy up the magic wand into the belly at the second chakra and down to the wand again. Massage round and round.
18. LEG MASSAGE AND HEALING
Everyone loves to have their legs massaged, but most leg massages stop several inches from the magic wand. Let one hand start near the knee, massaging up to the base
of the magic wand while the other hand does the Healing Stroke.
I like to position my partner's foot against his opposite knee (Tree position in yoga or Hand Man in Tarot), and massage the inner thigh and perineum. This is also a great position for Twist and
Shout / Six O'clock Good News.
Another position for leg massage is your partner's knee in the air, his foot flat on the table. I try to support his foot with my leg on the table.
Furrow with your thumbsdown the thigh muscles, each stroke ending at the base of the magic wand.
Rock the leg muscles. As you put the leg back on the table, support the knee. Do both legs.
19. CORE VIBRATIONS
Vibrate the perineum with the heel of your palm or your fist as your partner exhales, making a loud sound.
Pull his sound all the way down to his root. Sound is a vibration in the body that can connect with the erotic vibration. As you vibrate, be careful
not to bounce the balls. Massage the perineum and the upper thighs with your fist. Make sure you use plenty of oil.
20. RING BALLS
Circle the scrotum with your thumb and index finger between the balls and the body. Make sure the skin is taut. Scratch the balls lightly with fingernails, then massage
with your palm. Be sure to watch your partner's face for feedback.
21. JUICER
Pull the skin down toward the base of the magic wand and juice as you would an orange this stroke is done mostly with the fingers. Don't put too much pressure on the head, just the shaft. And since this is a Taoist Erotic Massage, don't juice too much. This is a great stroke to alternate with Twist and Shout. This stroke was taught to me by
another erotic massage pioneer, Ray Stubbs.
22. COCK CRADLING
With the magic wand on the belly, put one hand palm up underneath the magic wand and your other hand palm down on top, your fingers pointing toward his feet. Glide
your hands back and forth in different directions, enveloping as much of the magic wand
as possible. The back of one hand rubs the lower belly. Vary speed, pressure.
Encourage your partner to let go of expectations of how sex should be or should feel. He merely has to receive. No thing to do.
23. FIRE
With the magic wand pointed straight up, rub with different speeds between your palms. This is a high friction stroke so be sure to use enough oil. This is a great stroke to
alternate with Cock Cradling. Allow your hands to feel the heat.
With this stroke, I invite male red energy to move throughout my partner's body.
This energy is the source of our passion, of our creativity.
24. HAIRY PALM SUNDAY
Hold the magic wand in one hand just below the head. Using your well-oiled palm, slowly massage the head of the wand. The tip is the crown chakra in cock reflexology, so be very slow and sensitive.
I named this stroke in a class in New York City on Palm Sunday several years ago.
One man got so excited, he shouted, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes." Another man
responded with a line from Psalm 23: "Though I walk in the valley of darkness, no evil
do I fear. You are there with your rod and your staff to comfort me."
25. PHALLOS
Each stroke starts at the base, wrapping your hand around the magic wand and gliding up and off at the tip. Alternate, using both hands, stroking the energy up toward the sky. Repeat again and again. Phallos is the masculine image of the divine. Worship
with your hands.
26. HAND JIVE
Weave your fingers together, taking the magic wand between your palms and rubbing up and down and back and forth. Hand Jive is actually a hand dance. Make it up as you go along.
27. CARPE DIEM
Stoke the magic wand toward the heart, and at the same time tug the balls toward the feet. If your partner's balls are sensitive, watch his face during this stroke. This is the
very first stroke I ever taught in a class.
28. AMSTERDAM
Place your second finger between your partner's eyebrows on the third eye, place your other second finger at the base of the magic wand on the root chakra / perineum.
Vibrate as if your fingertips are touching each other. Invite your partner to make sounds
on the exhale as you vibrate. An erotic masseur in Holland taught me this stroke.
29. THE BIG DRAW
The man receiving does the Big Draw. The masseur stops touching at this point.
Man receiving: take a full deep breath and hold for twenty seconds.
Clench all the muscles of your body and slightly lift your head and feet. Remember to clench your butt
muscles. If you have any weakness in your lower back, do the Big Draw without lifting your head or your feet.
After twenty seconds of clenching, let go. Be with the energy. Do not try to control your consciousness. Let it be. Nothing to do.
The Big Draw squeezes the orgasmic energy you have generated into the core of
your being where it shoots up through your heart and out the top of your head, connecting
your energy with all other energies, the THE Energy. This is often the time we become deeply aware of all of our relations, especially those we love.
30. COCOON
About two minutes after the Big Draw, cover your partner with a sheet. Let him be with his own energy for ten to thirty minutes. Do not touch, move or talk to him.
Some men feel the sheet as a cocoon, some men feel the sheet as a shroud. The Tantrics say, in
The Tibetan Book of the Dead, that the Big Draw is the way we die. Sex can be a preparation for that energetic transition.
After the Big Draw, most men experience a state of grace, a time of deep peace.
Much thanks to Joseph Kamer a Christian sex expert for married couples for creating and describing his massage, and personally training me too.
The G-spot – and the more recently discovered A-spot – is thought to be part of the clitoris, but direct stimulation seems to produce a more intense feeling.
Not all women have one, but the easiest way to find your G-spot yourself is to squat, insert your finger into your vagina and curve it towards your navel. Feeling around should cause it to swell, thereby making it easier to find – it’s usually the size of a large pea.
G-spot stimulation can cause some women to ejaculate a small amount of liquid and, combined with clitoral stimulation can prove to be the most satisfying of orgasms. Not everyone can orgasm from G-spot stimulation and it can take some practice. To hit the spot during sex, the best positions are either from behind, you on top leaning back slightly, or the missionary position with a pillow under your bum.
It does exist -
but it's tucked away and rather difficult to find on your own - it's more formal
name is the prostate gland.
Should you want to try and find it yourself, lie on your back with your knees
bent and feet on the floor. Now put in your thumb and press it against the front
wall of the rectum. You will need lubrication. You're looking for something that
feels like a walnut. Once you've found it, start massaging firmly in a downward
direction. Alternatively, you can always get your partner to look for it.
Many men say that G-spot orgasms are more intense and that they ejaculate in a
continuous stream rather than in spurts. Remember: it's always advisable to wash
your hands if they have been inside a rectum as you can inadvertently transfer
bacteria to other parts of the body afterwards
As well as being perfectly suited to either going solo or an extended foreplay session vibrators can be used during oral and penetrative sex to add extra excitement.
Most women need clitoral as well as vaginal stimulation to orgasm, so try pressing the vibrator against your clitoris during sex. Alternatively, hold the vibrator between your bodies, at the base of his penis, so you can feel the sensation.
During oral sex, use it either on yourself or each other. For example, your partner can press the vibrator against your vaginal opening and you can hold it against his testicles or penis while you both do what you do.
Use the vibrator in a similar way as you would on yourself. Start on their neck and shoulders and as they relax, glide down the insides of their arms to the inner elbow and fingers. Stroke the sides of their chest, over the nipples then down their legs to the backs of the knees and feet.
For male partners, smooth a little lube over his penis, testicles and perineum (the bit between his balls and his bum). Begin to gently move the vibrator over his testicles and up and down his perineum; even tease his anus a little if you think he’ll like it! Slide the vibrator up and down the penis and over the tip – your imagination can probably take over from here!
NB: A quick note about using Wand for anal stimulation. Germs can be spread very easily, so wash the vibrator carefully before using it on any other part of the body. Alternatively, use a condom over it while you’re in this area, and simply take it off before continuing.
Stroking your skin can be initially extremely relaxing and soothing. To help you relax, make sure the environment is right, that you are warm and comfortable and you won’t be disturbed. Start on your neck, shoulders and back, rhythmically stroking, circling and pressing the pad into your muscles.
Once relaxed, begin to tease your erogenous zones, running the vibrator down the sensitive insides of your arms, elbows and fingers. Smooth it under your breasts and over your nipples, then down over your stomach to your inner thighs.
By now, the urgency should be building, so when you’re ready, softly apply some lubricant between your legs then slide the vibrator over the skin either side of your vaginal lips. Moving from back to front, stroke along the edge of your lips to your clitoris. Using the same movement, apply a little more pressure to part your lips and reach the more sensitive area inside. Now begin to concentrate on the clitoris and use a combination of techniques, gliding, circling, pressing, rolling and patting to bring yourself to orgasm.
The only vibrator in the Durex Play range that can directly stimulate the G-spot is the Wand.
The size and curve of Wand’s vibrating tip have been specifically designed to stimulate the entrance of the vagina and the G-spot. Of the numerous nerve endings in the vagina, 90% of them are located in the first five centimetres or so. Because this area is by far the most sensitive, you may not want to insert Wand beyond.
To start with, apply some play lube and rest Wand between your lips at the entrance to your vagina, holding it so the controls are facing away from you. By rocking and rolling it forward and backward and side to side, you can stimulate your lips and clitoris. When you’re ready, press the tip against your opening and begin to apply pressure, so you gently push the vibrator inside.
Gently move the handle down to angle the vibrating pad towards your G-spot in the front wall of your vagina. Now try pressing and relaxing, circling, twisting and gentle thrusting to get the desired effect and result.
Remember, however, not that many women actually orgasm through vaginal or G-spot stimulation, so don’t be surprised if you also need clitoral stimulation to get there.
These are links to several sites with similar topics-
Christian-rockers.com is not related to any of the following organisations.
http://diskbooks.org/p3.html http://reviews.crossdaily.com/bibsexfac.php3 http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/oralsexfacts/
http://daniel-trust-ministries.org/teen/ http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/6m4/6m4089.html
https://safe-id.net/christians-in-recovery/links/Links/Christian/Sex_and_Porn_Addiction/